"Please excuse John for being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33."
"Mary could not go to school because she was bothered by very close veins."
"Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat."
"Please excuse Joey Friday. He had loose vowels."
"Please excuse Joyce from Jim today."
"Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip."
"Karl was hit yesterday playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
"John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach."
"Please excuse Gloria. She has been sick and under the doctor."
"My son will have to get out of school as soon as I call the orthodontist, one of his wrie's is brusted and sticking in his Gum's."
"Please excuse Sarah from being absent yesterday. She was sick and I had her shot."
"My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take P.E. Please execute him."
"Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust."
"Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father's fault."
I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day!