‘Happy Birthday!’ OK, sure, fine, I've defied virtually all of my friends beliefs and hopes, as well as cause a few wagers to be lost by my doctors. But what really surprised me was to receive a birthday card from Sainsbury’s, one of Britain’s national grocers.
Along with the card came a coupon for a FREE box of Elizabeth Shaw Chocolate Mint Crisps! Yummy indeed! One of my favourite, which they no doubt already knew from perusing my shopping habits, as registered on my fidelity card.
I’ve stared at the birthday card for several hours, as it sat next to my keyboard, and it caused me to reflect on the other communications I’ve received from the venerable Lord Sainsbury’s marketeers over the past twelve months.
A coupon for a Weight Watchers frozen meal.
A coupon for fifty pence off a packet of any low fat, low-calorie salad dressings.
A buy one get one free offer on Sainsbury’s ‘Healthy Living’ extra lean beef.
A coupon for fifty pence off any of Coca Cola’s line of diet drinks.
And today, Sainsbury’s are going to help me celebrate all the weight loss I could have experienced, had I chosen to use any one of those lovely offers... which I didn’t!
Clearly, they wanted to get me down to size, so they could fatten me up again, in anticipation of the next year’s round of scintillating diet food offers, which will no doubt arrive with the rest of my morning postal detritus.
Thank you Sainsbury’s. Thank you Mr. King. And thank you Lord Sainsbury.
All I can say is cunning gentlemen.