It’s A Down Under Dilemma Mate!

‘You old bastard!’ It wouldn’t be nice to call someone this, would it? Well, actually it’s a warm and endearing affectation between best friends in Australia. And if an Aussie were to sling this accolade in your direction, you’d be considered well and truly ‘in.’

But to say such a thing in England, in Canada, or even America, it would be considered mildly offensive and certainly in poor taste.

So does that mean we are to look down our noses at the Aussies with disdain? Of course not.

The Australian Tourist Commission has recently launched (in my opinion) a beautiful new advertising campaign that uses yet another typically Australian idiom entitled ‘So where the bloody hell are you?’ Now, for those of you here in England, stop squirming in your seats! Again, it’s just an ‘Aussie thing.’ Just as some here (not including me) might use an idiom to say you have an Episcopalian friend who likes to stomp on fags! Now, for those of you in America, stop squirming in your seats, it means something quite different over here!

You see! You see how easy it is to offend? Colloquialisms, which may be considered acceptable locally, can invoke adverse reactions elsewhere.

Consequently, several English-speaking countries are banning the running of the adverts, citing its offensive language and in Canada the fact that there is the implied offer of unbranded beer makes the advert a definite no no! But the language apparently is not a problem. (I kid you not!)

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Here in England, according to the Advertising Standards Agency, for us to watch an Australian tourism commercial that uses the phrase ‘bloody hell’ would simply far exceed the boundaries of British good taste.

Too right! I’m sure the ASA would be flooded with complaints from incensed viewers who saw such an offensive advert follow, say, a popular car company’s advert entitled ‘shake your little ass’ during the running of the TV series ‘Queer As Folk,’ or following the latest Gordon Ramsay's 'F Word' cookery show. And there’s no doubt Australia’s Minister of Culture, Sir Les Patterson and the venerable Dame Edna Everage, would take exception to such depictions of poor taste.

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Thank you, oh great Nanny state, for protecting our modest and fragile ears. And America, please, please, I beg of you, please don’t add Australia to your ‘axis of evil’ shopping list and ban American’s from travelling to this morally corrupt country.

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Where else would the Americans get to see kangaroos running wild in the streets of Sydney!

Wanted Part-Time Wife